We constantly get judged on how much sex we are having, whether it's too much or too little. Across my platforms, I have openly talked about sex and I believe that it should never be a taboo, even more so when it comes to virginity.
A little while across I came across one of Abi's videos in which she talks about her experience of being ' labelled a virgin. She has inspired me so much and I am so excited to announce our next POWERFUL WOMAN - Abi Else.
Thank you for speaking to me today. Tell us about your blogging career. What made you start creating YouTube videos?
I probably started watching YouTube when I was 8 and I’ve been creating videos since I was 12 years old! I used to, and still do, watch Zoella and Pointlessblog they were two of my main inspirations for starting YouTube. I just love being creative whilst being able to make memories too.
What do you love most about being a vlogger?
Like i said above, I love documenting memories. I’m a huge memory hoarder, I have way to many photographs in my room haha! So I think it’s another way for me to document my life. A lot of my vlogs are created more for myself than my audience.
What is your favourite video you have ever created?
I think it has to be my video on virginity. It has given me the most happiness as I receive messages weekly from people I don’t know, and do know, saying how it helped them or how they respect me. It makes me quite emotional. Happy emotional!
What made you want to film a video about virginity?
I used to get teased a lot about being ‘frigid’ when I was younger. It’s something that stuck with me all my life. It's one thing that people always ask me or find interesting about me, and I’ve become a lot more open to talking about it as I've gotten older. I thought “Why is it only now that I feel comfortable with being a virgin?”. When you’re young, especially a teenager, it’s all anyone ever talks about. I just wanted to help those that felt (and still feel) the same way as me, and maybe change their thoughts to be more positive about not having had sex yet.
When was the first time that your virginity was brought up in a conversation and you have realised that people treated you differently because of it?
Hmm… I was on and off with a guy for a LONG time. We were in the same friendship group, everyone knew everyones business at that age and it just always felt like it was a topic of conversation as to why I hadn’t slept with him. I never had a bad response as to why I hadn’t, it was more people were confused because i was ’that girl’ that they thought would’ve slept with someone by now.
What do you think makes virginity such a taboo subject?
I think because when you grow up sex is always such an out of bounds thing. Films with sex scenes are rated 18, you don’t get sex education until you’re in high school (if you get it at all). Porn is frowned upon and very ’secret’. So, I think it’s always just been made taboo by society. I also think because a lot of people have insecurities when it comes to sex, it becomes even more taboo to talk about, because they don’t want to talk about their insecurities. It’s kind of a full circle thing - if it was less taboo growing up, there would probably be less insecurities, if that makes sense.
In your video you response to those who have previously called you frigid. Why do you think people feel the need to label another person’s sexuality?
I honestly have no idea. It’s the one thing that frustrates me SO much! I think it’s a ‘power’ thing. As soon as people are that one step ahead, they seem to think they’re entitled to belittling others. It’s very odd.
When do you think it’s the right time to loose your virginity?
Honestly, whenever you believe you’re ready. Everyone is on their own journey. You might want to get it out of the way, or you might want to wait and feel comfortable with the person. I honestly think when you know, you know.
What advice would you give to other men and women who haven’t yet had sex, they are not in a rush, but they feel pressure from society?
Try your best to not let the pressure affect you. I get told a lot, especially since making the video, about how people regret losing it to someone they don’t care about now, or had no connection with. I think it’s really important to remind yourself that you’re doing your thing, and they’re doing their thing. Don’t let anyone have a say on your life decisions.
What do you think makes a women powerful?
Oh gosh, everything! Women are incredible, and we’re doing amazing things at the moment. I love that most women love to empower others, and I think if you can support others as well as yourself, then that is one of the most powerful things.