At the beginning of this year, I started to think about different changes that I am wanting to make in my life within myself. Although I’ve known that there are things that I should and need to improve on as well as I have been wanting to, sometimes it's really hard to get the right motivation and the headspace to get started. I also suffer from ‘ trying to do everything at once and not succeeding at any of them ‘. So at the begging of the year I wanted to write this blog post, where I would go into details of ways I am going to be ‘ improving ‘ myself, however instead of putting this huge pressure on myself and telling the world that ‘ that's what I’m login to do ‘ instead I just started to do them and thought id share this with you, once I’m ready.
Guess what? I’m ready!
Here is a list of things that I believe will either help my health or make me feel more comfortable or convenient. I feel like, because I have spoken so much about regrets to do cosmetics enhancements either me having them or knowing people who do, I think it's important that I put this disclaimer here. I am not telling ANYBODY to do any of the things that I am doing, I am also not telling you that you should or need to do these things to feel pretty/comfortable or better. Anything regarding my health is something that I am promoting for you to improve, as I think that health is one of the most important things in life for everyone, however, any treatments, enhancements or lifestyle choices are to be thought through throughout and consulted with a doctor.
I am starting with this one as this one is so important, in fact probably most important and the hardest. I started smoking at an incredibly young age, due to boredom, stupidity and ‘ wanting to fit in and be cool ‘, its safe to say, it has NEVER made me cool, but it did give me a horrible and dirty habit, that has had negative impact on so many aspects of my health. I stopped smoking cigarettes around a year ago or so when I moved in with Jake. It has helped me that I was with someone who hates smoking, as obviously, I felt guilty about it all the time. But when I moved in, it meant that for the first time in YEARS I was;t able to smoke indoors and standing in the cold and wet gardens just wasn’t appealing anymore. I moved onto e-cigarettes, which did make me feel ‘ better ‘ than cigarettes ever did. The actual moving from cigarettes to e-cig I found easy, I kind of just stopped with one, starting with the other and as I was able to vape indoors, that was a good enough reason for me. A combination of a family member being diagnosed with cancer, my lungs feeling pretty ‘iffy’ and the fact that we still don’t know the damage that e-cig causes to us made me realised how important it was for me to stop. So what I decided to do is to not buy any more ‘ liquid ‘ and try to cut down slowly. First I wouldn’t have any in the morning, then in the afternoon, I would start leaving the house without it, then I'd have to ‘ survive ‘ what was left in the cigarette and after a couple of weeks, I manage to come off it completely. It has only been around 6 weeks since I've stopped, but I am proud of myself, but I do think about smoking at least once a day and I do have to ‘distract ‘ myself, but I DID IT. I don’t ever want to be a smoker again, I can’t promise that one night I won’t have a few drinks and end up ‘ stealing a fag ‘ off a friend, but I know I will never go and buy cigarettes or sit in bed and vape.
This is something that was affected by smoking A LOT. But there is a lot more to that. I have spoken so much about my teeth and want to get ‘ them done’. The issues I have with my teeth are a combination of bad genetics ( my mum's teeth were identical, but she got veneers they look amazing now ), years of smoking and without my teenage years, I did to go a day without eating a bar of chocolate. Regardless of why they are the way they are now, I don't like them and if I don’t get them fixed I will start to have gum issues as well. I have started to visit different types of dentists and orthodontics who may help me a few years ago, however, because my teeth are ‘ pretty bad ‘ its a lot of expensive and its more of intensive treatment that I will require them ‘ just getting Invisalign ‘. I have got a short term salutation with which I am so happy with and I will be sharing with you in the next month or so ( fingers crossed ), but a long term solution is still needed. I have come across a treatment called ‘ cosmetic bonding ‘, which is essentially a non-invasive version of veneers. Over the next few months I shall be looking for the PERFECT dentist to do this treatment for me, and with a small price of just around £7000 ( yes, you have read that correctly ) I the next 12 months, I shall have a brand, new, beautiful and healthier teeth. This is where we are at at the moment and I will be keeping you in the loop of everything that happens.
I am going to try my best to not go into too many details, so I yoyo like crazy. Always have, and don’t want to anymore. Around 3 years ago ( ish ) I have an incredible amount of weight, very very quickly and with that same power in reverse I have now, not only put it all back on but with extra as well. I want to get healthier, stronger and fitted, and I will be getting help through different sources that I will be sharing with you, but also I want to teach myself more healthy habits that can become a lifestyle, not just something I do for 2 weeks then forget about it. I am going to eat proper breakfast, instead of grabbing a doughnut, not eating super late and continue to fill up my plates with as many vegetables as possible.
Here is were we get unclose and personal and most definitely a little uncomfortable. I have stretch marks and to be honest with you, I don’t ever need to get them fixed. I might, but they don’t bother me. I have cellulite, which does bother me a little ( on my bum and my upper thighs ), but I know that that's there because I didn’t move a lot for a long time and stuffed my face and it will reduce now that I'm exercising again. In the future, I MAY look into treatments that will help me reduce it, but at this moment I am okay with it. But what a lot of you may not know is that I am an EXTREMELY hairy person. So many people tell me how lucky I am to have just big, thick fair, well don’t forget that it grows like that everywhere else as well haha. I have spoken about pubic hair before, but in case you haven’t seen any of my many vagina videos, I'm all good with pubic hair. Back of the thighs is what my problems are. I have super thick and dark hair ( on super pale and sensitive skin ) all of my legs, stomach, arms, armpits and face. I shame most of those successfully, however, I cannot shave the back of my thighs because the hair is too stubborn and my skin so sensitive it ends in so much pain. This also means I never wear shorts in the summers, as it makes me very self-conscious. I have spoken recently about Imogen's Aesthetics over on my Instagram, who has kindly contacted me and offered to do several treatments for me in return sharing my experiences with you guys and we shall be tackling my hairy bits very soon and I'm so excited to start seeing results. Oh, and be able to wear shorts next summer!
My skin troubles are also something that I have been speaking about previously and this is something that I am getting desperate to fix. I have had acne issues since the age of 11, there have been better times but these are honestly pretty much the worse times. My acne issues are due to genetics ( again, but this time from my dad ), hormonal changes and stress, my addiction to cheese and lack of decent skincare. I'm saying DECENT because I went for about a year of not taking him to make up off before bed, never mind moisturising. I've got to be honest with you because that's the only way this is going to work. Because honest with you, also mean being honest with myself, and it sucks, but if I want this fixed, then its got to start from me. I am going to be visiting more doctors who can help me with controlling adult acne in the best way possible. I am changing my skin routine completely, and I am actually looking after it, for the first time in a long time and I am getting help from jo At Imogen's Aesthetics, who’s going to run a series of treatments on my skin to help me get that natural, slowly, healthy skin and I want so bad.
Up until Jake and I moved in together, I have NEVER had issues with sleeping. Sure, once a year I'd have that weird night where I wouldn't able to sleep, but over the last 12 months, I have gone through WEEKS of sleepless/terrible night's sleep. And it shows. On my skin, on my mood, on my energy levels and it affects absolutely everything in my life. Over the next 12 months I am going to be working towards fixing this weird sleeping issue that I am having to help our physical and mental health.
And speaking of mental health, I feel like this is a very important point to finish on. Last year I started to open up and speak a little more about my Compulsive Obsessive Personality Disorder, Anxiety, Paranoia and Depression. I have been very lucky that I have not needed to go back on medication and that actually at this present moment I am doing REALLY WELL ( comparing to the last few years ) but the issue is still there and regardless of how great IM feeling I want to work towards constantly bettering myself. Something that I have tried a few years ago, but never finished it properly was therapy and that's something I am wanting to go back and do. I also want to try hypnotherapy, as I've heard wonderful things, especially for PTSD. And apparent from the things mentioned, I just want to give myself plenty of time to recharge, to stay happy, to not burn out, to not get down, to look after myself and remember that my mental health is my priority.
If you have any questions or suggestions regarding any of the points of this blog post, please feel free to contact me on any of my social media platforms, or the email provided on this website. I am so excited to be sharing my journey with everyone here and I hope you find my upcoming posts helpful.